What Would You Think of a Man...(divorce, lawsuits, children, child support)
Posted: Tuesday, December 29, 2009
by Jo Walker
Divorce is never an easy thing to go through. You make a decision to end a relationship,
that in some cases, has lasted for many years. It is not an easy decision, because there are so many others affected by your decision. Children, in-laws, friends, etc. But ultimately, the decision is made based on your needs.
Many times, it arises due to infidelity, or some sort of mistrust, abuse, but whatever the reasons, it is a life changing move. One of which I have been through more than once, I am afraid to say.
Hard feelings, hurt feelings, all of this comes up and it must be dealt with. Friendly divorces are few and far between, but they do happen. Unfortunatley, none of mine were friendly. As a matter of fact, the first one...I could easily stand and watch him pass and not feel regret for not helping...he was a monster that physically abused me on a regular basis. The final straw for me was when he turned his abuse on my 6 month old son. I thank God everyday that I found the strength to get away from him.
What I am dealing with now, 6 years after the divorce, is an ex who just does not understand that a court order is just that. A court order. He is the type of man that wants to maintain complete control over every aspect of his life and the lives of everyone he is involved with. And even though, I am no longer involved in his life, he wishes to control mine as well. He is a master manipulator. And now after all this time, he is suing me for over payment of court ordered child support.
The thing is, the child support money he wants back, never went to me. Yes it was paid through the Attorney General's Office in my name, but, it was deposited onto a Debit card which is carried by our youngest daughter. I never saw the money and I never used any of it. And he is well aware of this fact. So in essence, is he wanting me to pay him back the money that his child has used all this time?
Personally, I think he is simply trying to play a game. You see, I took him to court to make him pay on a medical bill that insurance did not cover. I paid all of the outstanding balance, and the court order stated that he was supposed to pay half, so I took him to court to enforce that order. I won, but I settled for less then what I was asking for just so I could be done with it. Since I won, he is lilvid. He hates to lose at anything, and he is determined to prove that I owe him.
Now yes, there are always two sides to every story and I am only writing my side, but frankly, the facts speak for themselves.
1. Our daughter is not yet 18 yr of age
2. She is not in school, but she did not graduate
3. She never filed with the court for immancipation
4. She is not married
5. She is not dead
6. Though she doesn't live at home on a full time basis, her address is the same as mine, and the divorce decree states that I have the EXCLUSIVE right to determine her residence.
7. There is not even a snowball's chance in hell that I would remarry this man.
So, why would I have to repay him for childsupport and why would he just stop paying the remaining amount due???? Because he feels that irregardless of the law, he can make the rules and he can make everyone play by his rules.
I write this article to do somewhat of a survey..I am curious just what others would think of a man who would do something like this? Comments would be very welcome, and perhaps there is someone else out there who is dealing with something of this sort and together we can work through another steppiong stone one the pathway through life.
This Article has been viewed 220 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)I would think he is a man who definitely needs to be forgiven and in doing so you might set yourself free.... I hear you totally. Your article tugs at my heart. Sending you a huge e-hug! Marijoforgiving is not a problem...I just want him to leave me alone. thanks for eading and thanks for the hug! HAppy New Year!Hope he GOES!
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.